Celebrating Our First Samhain Together

Celebrating Our First Samhaim Together - Common Year 2003

October 31st is an important day for many, and so John and I wanted to wish everyone a very happy Samhain.

It is hard to believe that this is a year of firsts yet again. John and I are celebrating our first Samhain as a couple, and the re-formed FCoS is celebrating its first as well. John has been doing a few interviews over the last few weeks, so I figured I would grab him and do one for the FCoS site.

L: John, how do you feel after these last five months?

J: *laughs evilly* As in - will Lord Egan return from the dead in a Creature Double Feature anytime soon? No, he will not. I loved that part of my life. I have no real regrets, however, that it is over. Been there, done him, who's next? Me.

Every one of my detractors accused me of it. Now it IS reality. I am back to things being all about me. It is actually pretty
non-eventful. I like it like this.

L: You did not prepare me for what Satanism is all about today, I learn more every day. Just when I think I understand it, there is another group or another belief I wish to know more about...

J: It is sometimes better to just learn by doing --- baptism by fire. Satanism, like many of the growing religions, is changing to
accommodate the interests and needs of the new millennium. My interests and beliefs have certainly changed over the years. Stagnant water stinks. It is the same with any system that is closed.

L: So what is the "safest" way to define Satanism today?

J: We believe every man and woman is a corporeal aspect of divinity. We seek no external validation from a guru, priest or pontiff. The Satanist creates his own reality.

L: Yes, but not every Satanist has to believe as you do.

J: Well, you and I are big on tolerance issues. Because we come from different sides, I prefer to focus on our similarities, rather than our differences. The divisions within Satanism are largely illusory because Satanism is not about organized religion -- it's about the individual! I just explained this in another interview:

We live in a world of perpetual paradox where there are no absolutes. Hassan-i Sabbah stated, "Nothing is true, everything is permitted" and that statement addresses a general, macrocosmic perspective. But there is an opposite truth of equal importance when the focus narrows to an individual, "Everything is true, nothing is permitted."

"Nothing is permitted" because, from a microcosmic perspective we are impacted by the laws of physics. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. There are no free rides. We are ultimately responsible for our own actions.

"Everything is true" because we live in a world of infinite possibilities, where the individual is limited only by his will to
believe. My personal awareness has progressed to a point where I can appreciate all belief systems, because I realize a doctrine will always address one facet of the truth! Therefore, when a theistic Satanist professes a belief in a spiritual being
called "Satan," I acknowledge such a being exists for them and can impact the believer's life in a tangible way. On the other hand, the atheistic modern Satanist lives in a universe where no deity recognizes or acknowledges him.

There is no right or wrong choice in this matter. My mission as a Satanic leader is to bring everyone to the realization and enjoyment of his own kingship, and my interference amounts to no more than advice to him not to suffer interference! I can, therefore, lead a Satanic circle with a group of disparate individuals and it does not bother me. Satan was the first freethinker and I see no reason why this trend should suddenly be discouraged.

It saddens me that Satanists are breaking into tiny factions of believers, bickering amongst themselves. I find it strangely
reminiscent of Christianity. Baaaahing sheep. Talk about an Animal Farm!

L: You and I will never agree about Christianity. Jesus is not the problem. Some misguided followers remain the problem.

J: Bunny, Christianity promotes the dangerous belief that physical and spiritual evolution are not aligned, but opposed. We are told that one must "resist the temptations of the flesh" in order to grow spiritually! This sick philosophy has been quietly introduced to Satanism over the past thirty years and has taken root. There are Satanists who believe that in order to "xeper" or evolve, one must learn separation from the objective universe, the domain of the flesh and the living. I would prefer to take a page from Wilhelm Reich and Anton LaVey; "the highest plateau of spiritual development one can attain is total awareness of the physical body."

Satanists utter the Word "Indulgence," but harbor animosity towards those who supposedly practice it! The well is poisoned as far as the future of Satanism goes and I fear there is no chance for recovery. There's no longer a contrast between Satanism and Christianity. Political correctness has replaced rational self-interest and common sense. S-O-S -- Same old crap, different label.

L: People are always asking me how old you really are and if you are really as old as you say you are. Let's go on the record - no face lifts, no plastic for either of us in terms of facial surgery.

J: Exactly, I am a strong believer in vitamins, breathing exercises, aligning my chakras so the flow of energy is even. Walking a bit each day. Paying strict attention to each thought, because once you've affixed your mind to one, it becomes a part of your reality. Thoughts are things and the words you speak have power. Think about it. This is something very few Satanists give
consideration to. I am now turning more attention to my health than I ever had.

L: I would definitely say meditation and breathing and ... genetics. I think that when you learn to accept responsibility and get rid of guilt it does help with frown lines though. One project we have been working on together is SWitch, a new tolerance organization, and pushing the idea that those of the left hand path and dark pagans who choose to identify themselves as
pagans should be welcome in the pagan community. We both agree it is a valid form of paganism. Can you talk about this?

J: Whether you are right hand or left hand path in the occult community, there is no set dogma. You are free to believe as you wish. Some Pagans believe in the Goddesses and Gods of the old religions and others do not. Some are polytheists, others are not. Many Pagans understand deity as immanent, in everything, and believe revelation is found in nature instead of written in scriptures. Some believe in an afterlife and that their actions in this life will determine their place in the next. Others believe only in this life and that their actions here are all that matters. Still others believe in reincarnation. Some Pagans believe in an active Spirit World while others do not.

Some Satanists believe in the Goddesses and Gods (Set, Lilyth, Lucifer, etc.) of the old religions and others do not. Many Satanists understand deity as immanent, in everything. (Satanic Bible, pg. 40, "to the Satanist 'God' -- is seen as the balancing factor in nature... This powerful force which PERMEATES and balances the universe is far too impersonal to care about the
happiness or misery of flesh-and-blood creatures on this ball of dirt upon which we live.") Satanists believe revelation is found in nature instead of written in scriptures. Some believe in an afterlife and that their actions in this life will determine their place in the next. Others believe only in this life and that their actions here are all that matters. Still others believe in reincarnation. Some Satanists believe in an active Spirit World while others do not.

When you come right down to it, many of us are whistling the same tune, but we find it convenient hiding behind labels.

L: You are really on this label kick lately.

J: And why shouldn't I be? Some neophytes cling to them like the fools who stayed on the Titanic believing it was unsinkable. That was a label that marketing people gave to the ship. It was unfortunately not true. It sure sounded good though.

The worst hotel fire in the United States, the Winecoff Hotel, in Atlanta, in the 1940s, also had a high fatality rate because it
advertised itself as fireproof. Again, a great label, but the hotel structure was fireproof, not the furniture and the guests.

Labels are not always accurate, are they? Yet people die because of labeling. At the time they were built, the Twin Towers were considered plane crash proof. Labels are useless in my opinion. You can call me a Satanist, a magus, LHP, dark pagan, whatever. In the end, I am what I am.

Actually, your experiences, Lillee have made me hate labels more. Once you were labeled as my wife, you experienced prejudice that you had not experienced. Why? It made no sense. Those who labeled me as a homosexual all of a sudden
were confused. Then after they had called me a criminal, well, they had real monsters to contend with.

I do not blame anyone. I am sorry for what you have had to go through and what my family has gone through. Other than
that, I wear the scars like a badge. I never did what I was accused of doing. I find the molestation of minors to be one of the most heinous crimes there is. I have never, ever said that I approved of sexual abuse, but my words were always taken out of context. That is the chance I took writing on the net.

L: I support your decision to cut back on that as you know, and the new FCoS does as well.

J: I love the new FCoS. I admit I had my doubts that we could pull it off. We have over 350 members in just 5 months. I am glad you are coordinating the study programs and getting the reverend education program in place. It is a different organization than it was, and it more accurately reflects where I am and what I am about. It is a mixture of you and me, rather than a leader working with a council which can work sometimes, but sometimes it does not. I was at a phase where it was not going to work for me. I still want this group to do certain things:

Expose the myth of Satanic elitism. Certainly, if your personal beliefs conflict with a group's charter or doctrine, it would perhaps be wise for you to seek others who share your views. However, one is not "inferior" simply because he or she is worshipping the wrong god or adhering to a different set of principles. The Satanist must learn to choose his battles wisely and conserve energy. Let the leaders bicker amongst themselves while you focus your attention on growth and tolerance. The "lone wolf" Satanists opposed to unity can be lone wolves all by themselves. Ignore them! Cease all communication!

Our group is open to all people, seekers and others and well as Satanists. We encourage RHPers to come to learn the truth about Satanists and the LHP. We are all about tolerance and education and unity.

The FCoS is not gone as some of my detractors claim. Its focus changed when I shed the Lord Egan character. I had spent nine years of my life spending all of my time with the FCoS council and the on-line organization. I am at the point where I am no longer interested in that. When I made some other changes in my life last year, in June, we rebuilt the FCoS with a different focus. It is a more efficient system for the type of organization it is today.

L: What would you like to see your role in the Pagan community as?

J: Continuing to dispel myths and fears concerning Satanism, then closing ranks with them. Work together on common issues such as equal rights laws, same sex marriages and the rights of same sex parents, and the recognition of alternative religions. Coming together to promote unity and tolerance. Education is the key.

L: John, would you do it all over again?

J: I often ask myself if the price of fame is worth all the personal humiliation and degradation one goes through. For YEARS I've been consistently labeled a criminal or worse because of my liberal sexual views - now my detractors are MORE upset because I am exhibiting "normal" heterosexual behavior! Where will it end? Perhaps the angry ones with the attitude can learn a thing or two from this poem by Brother Jeremiah:

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd try to make more mistakes next time. I would relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I know of a very few things I would take seriously. I would take more trips. I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers and watch more sunsets. I would do more walking and looking. I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

I have been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, aspirin and a parachute. If I had it to do over again, I would go places, do things and travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would ride on more merry-go-rounds --- pick more daisies and I would have married you, Lillee, when we first met. Of course, you was legal then by a few years, and a woman, so I would not have given the Satanic soap opera a good plot or two. Even my worst critics cannot say I did not contribute something."