Two Years Later ... A Look Back with John and Lillee
After doing an interview with Rev. Daniel Nephilim, John and I realized that two years have gone by already since the changeover of the FCoS to what it is today.
Prior to May 2003, John D. Allee had been known on the internet as Lord Egan. (Some may even remember an earlier character by the name of the Daemon Egan.) While John made no attempt to hide his real identity, many only knew him by the internet name.
John explained his early life to Rev. Nephilim in this way:
"From the time I was about nine years old, I had lots of questions about God. I found religion to be quite hypocritical, especially in the face of the Vietnam War. There was something very disturbing to see 18 year olds being shipped out. Catholics were seeing these men as soldiers of Christ. I did not know Christ that well, but I knew if that is what he was looking for, there was something terribly wrong. I understood the importance of risking it all for something you believe in, but my brother actually went over, and I spent time in the military but did not see active duty. Neither of us felt that we had God on our side. The draft was scary. The men going over had to see themselves as heroes, but for the first time, the whole country did not see them as heroes - some saw them as killers. I would say this was the first step.
Things never seemed right to me - not politically, not religiously, and certainly not socially. In early 1970, I found Satanism and it made sense to me. It was the shock I needed to read Anton LaVey's words. For the first time things finally sounded better without having to swallow religious platitudes."
For those reading this who are under age 40, it was not unlike some of the war scenes you have witnessed on CNN, except these were shown every night on the evening news. There was no cartoon channel then, so if the television was on, you ended up viewing violent and disturbing footage. Teenagers were wearing MIA bracelets, and almost everywhere you turned, you saw
reminders of war and death.
It is not surprising that many turned to the idea of peace and many young people tuned into rock music as the great escape from the cruel realities of that time. Some people in those years turned to music for their hope and inspiration. I was one of those. I fell in love with the music and the mayhem that brought in the 70s and I personally believe that it was the music, both classical and contemporary, that led me to study psychology, philosophy and the occult. Now, I am not on the
bandwagon who will tell you that Ozzy can lead you to suicide and that Manson can cause violence. An unbalanced mind will be affected by any outside stimuli. People often look to blame the contemporary music scene when they should be looking at parental responsibility and societal climate.
For better or for worse, the end of the 60s and the early 70s signaled a change in American society.
I spent my high school years reading up on witchcraft and the occult. John was now in his twenties and discovering the Church of Satan with his first wife. John's interests then led him to the Temple of Set, and he ended up doing cable programs on Satanism, and running a 'zine entitled Brimstone before the FCoS came into existence.
The story of John and I began in 1984. We met at a jazz event, totally unrelated to anything occult. It was just a radio station manager and a singer, at a radio remote outside of Boston.
Believe it or not, I may have been the first one to hear about the FCoS. When John and I first met on that fateful night, he told me about how he was a Satanist and that he wanted to run an organization someday, but one with more diversity than was around at the time. He claims to this day that he had never mentioned it to anyone until that night. He also spent a lot of
time telling me what he was going to accomplish in the future. When I looked him up in 1999, I was surprised to find that he had done all he had said he was going to accomplish.
John and I had always been friends, but did not stay in touch. I saw certain behaviors going on and he ended up with a mess on his hands in 2003. He wanted to just retire from the FCoS. His idea was to kill off Lord Egan.
After I had been told by one of his (then) council members that he was indeed dead, I was furious and would not accept it. I tracked down John and gave him the proverbial kick in the ass and explained he just was not done yet.
John never lets anyone have the last word. He got me back, and explained fine, but I am not doing it with anyone but you this time, So the FCoS continued and John continued and we found we actually learned balance from one another - and the magic was
stronger. It has been quite the experience. As John told Rev. Nephilim, "Needless to say, rumors concerning my death, life and sexual preferences have all been twisted at one time or another."
John is not as active as he used to be with the membership directly, but he still calls the shots, and is working on other projects. He enjoys telling me what to do (*grins*)
When we were asked why the FCoS is unique, John explained: "My main complaint about most other groups is that they exercise the polemic to such an extreme that they incorporate this skewed view into their standards and practices. It taints their philosophy and their relationship with others. Some groups become a mirror of Christianity, and still others get bogged down with councils and grand poobahs who are so busy trying to elevate themselves, they have nothing to teach anyone
else. I obviously am not talking about the Church of Satan, Temple of Set, or of all groups. Some are excellent. Others have become mutual masturbation societies. Ask a group what they have accomplished in the last year, and how stable their leadership has been. Too many groups are all talk and little action.
I prefer to explain the FCoS in this way. Our strengths are our openness - our diversity - our focus on education and religious tolerance - and our founder. John was the first to talk about unity and saying it is okay for Satanists to
really have diverse views. We are finally doing more about this as well. We are also a safe place for dark pagans and Witches who want to see both sides.
Like many people, Rev. Nephilm, was interested in whether or not my coming from the right hand path had affected the FCoS. John replied:
"Surprisingly, she has not changed the views at all. Which is amazing, because she is coming from the Right Hand Path. I think most people do think that she has changed things, and she has, but not the philosophy. We have been able to do more without a council than I did for years with a council. Labels are funny things, but that is all they are. Some people will call her a fluffy bunny, others will call her an accomplished Satanist. I call her High Priestess."
I would have to say that he has influenced me far more than I have influenced him. Because I met John while I was in my 20s, he started me believing that Satanists and others never had to be seen as the "enemy" but as just one of many different
belief systems.
Recently, I think that John was ready to move into a more active role with tolerance and balance - and I was around - and everything just happened.
The FCoS remains an organization for freethinkers who confront the vital issues of spirituality and everyday life. We are open to seekers of all religions and do not discriminate according to color, creed, or sexual preference. I was thrilled to see John share a more positive outlook for Satanism with Rev. Nephilim than he has had in years past. John said:
"The future is whatever Satanists want it to be- if they want to see unity, it will happen. If they want to continue to
squabble and do nothing, that too will happen. Unfortunately, I do see Satanism going more mainstream, but the cream will rise to the top. As Crowley said, every man and every woman is a star. You can choose to shine or burn out."
As we move into our third year together, we continue to see such positive strides made by members of the organization and in the community as a whole. John and I hope to have our book out by the end of the year, if not sooner, and look forward to continuing to serve you. Thank you for all your support and your input.
The All is One!
copyright 2005 JDA/LCA First Church of Satan http://fcos.us